buhbye

I'm no longer blog here but created another blog link..

ask me if you want my new blog link..

LoL..

buhbye!!!

*runn*

truth

All the truth out today..LOL..glad to be friend with her again..did really disappointed and sad about him..wa lan leh!!!

Well..skip the details..anyway~~friend forever and brother forever okayss??

Exams and 'O' level coming soon!!! good luck to everyone..hahas..

Gonna be single until i'm ready for a new one..=)..will move on so don't worry..



P.S. study important..but health more important..do take care..okayss...

* . *

doesn't feel sad but empty deep in my heart

realize the pain after whacking the wall so hard

my hands getting numb

my eyesight getting blur

my body getting cold

my mind and my heart are so empty

feeling lonely but have to smile

feeling empty but have to laugh

first tear sliding down from my face

drop on the keyboard

am ignore it and continue typing

one drop two drops three drops

i can't count it anymore

can't stop the tears

and i still have to type it down

my heart getting pain

little pain with lots of empty spaces

my hands getting numb

as i whack the wall too hard

after the pain

after the tear

i will pretend

pretend i don't know you

pretend there's nothing happen

pretend i don't love you

pretend to smile and laugh

pretend to be a bad girl

pretend to be strong

pretend to be happy without you

so..don't worry..

you're mean for her..

time to let go..

It's time to let go..it's time to return to her..force myself to smile infront of the person who i love so much..the first time i pretend infront of somebody..it's hurt..really hurt..but what to do..i have to let go one day isn't it..he belongs to her..he's mean for her not for me..

Won't be blog here for sometime..need to study for exams and clear something..hahas..



P.S. don't miss me here..=D

one last time (for my boy)

Boy..few days only..you've already make me forget about him totally..you hold my hands..kiss my lips gentlely..you give your shoulder which i can lying on..
I said,i don't believe in forever..you said,you will prove it..I said,i scare the feeling of leaving..you said,you will never leave me..I asked,do you like me?..you said,you love me..You are so gentle and special,perfect and cute..
Can i believe in forever for the one last time??can you protect my heart..love me and trust me..please don't ever leave me or hate me..Can i have the happiness for the one last time??please let me be myself without pretending infront of you..even if i have to hurt her..i still want to be a little selfish..have you to be my only boy without sharing with others..that's why i'm willing to wait for you to leave her..
Because of you..my selfish mindset is forgiven..my childish acts are protected..those painful heart are heal..i'm a bitch yet you still accept it..You forgive my mistakes,accept my past,heal my painful heart and protecting me..

Thank you for accepting a sinner like me..

Thank you for falling in love with me..

Thank you for showing your care for me..

Thank you for doing so much things for me..

Thank you for meeting me..

Thank you for talking to me..

Thank you for staying by my side..

Thank you for making me feel your love..

Thank you for being my only one..

Thank you for proving the forever..

Thank you for making me believe in love..once again..

Thank you for making me thinking of you..

Thank you for stealing my heart..

Thank you for letting me snatch your heart..

Thank you for holding my hand..make me feel secure..

Thank you for hugging me..make me feel the happiness..

Thank you for kissing me gentlely..make me feel how important i am..

Thank you..and i love you..and i miss you..

P.S. boy..you're my only one for now and i hope that you will really be my future husband..i give all my heart to you..=)

falling in love with you ONLY!!!!

I need someone who can love me back when i love him..
I want someone who can trust me in a relationship..
I want someone who cam protect me-i'm not that strong as i show to everyone..
I want someone who can lend me the shoulder whenever i need-i'm tired of crying alone..
I need a hand which can clear away my tear-i have much tears to drop
I need someone who can be there for me always-i will be here for him too..

Everything seem to be so difficult to fulfil,everything just going to the wrong way..=(

I've found the person who can love me back when i love him..
I've found the person who can trust me in a relationhsip..
I've found the person who can protect me ..
I've found the person who can lend me the shoulder whenever i need..
I've found the person who can clear away my tears and my fears..
I've found the person who can be there for me always..

Everything seem to be so easy to fulfil..everything just going to the smooth way..=D

I spent a long long time to forget about the bastard,yet it doesn't work..i don't believe in those words like "forever" or "last long"..however..within three days..he made my mind only think of him at all time..and i decided to believe in those words one last time yesterday..i hope i made a right choice this time..i hope i won't get hurt again..i hope this relationship can be really forever last long..because it is not a PUPPY LOVE!!..it actually took me a long time to bring myself to talk to him and all these things..
I want to treasure him..i'm willing to wait..i don't want to hurt him..i love him really much..even if we have to hurt someone else soon..

God..
please allow me to remain coma if all these things are dream..if i have to lost him one day..please wake me up before i lost him..
please allow me to have a long life time if all these things are reality..if i have to lost him one day..please make me sleep and remain coma before i lost him..
He's not the first person i seriously in love with..but he change me alot..he's too speical compare to other guys..i love him so much..
He's the first person who hold my hand after the bastard..he's the first person who kiss me made me happy after the bastard..he made me believe in those words again..he made me live in "sweet dream land"..



P.S. If i have a wish..i will wish that i could be with him forever last long..if i have two wishes..i will wish that i could hold his hand and kiss his lips forever..if i have three wishes..i will wish that i could have him,love him and miss him for the rest of my life..

fall for someone..

Today..i broke up with my boyfriend..he was angry at me for telling the class about our relationship..before i told the class..he was angry because some friends were talking about me and Clement..i wanted to make him happy therefore i told the class about the relationship yesterday..and he angry because of this..WTH????!!!!

Today..i treat my friends drinks during recess..because yesterday was my birthday..muahahh..

Ok..let's back to the topic..i fall for someone..someone who has already have a girlfriend..so i chose to asked him to be my brother instead..at least i could have reason to be close to him and care for him anytime..

I hope he would never know how much i feel about him..at least his girlfriend is better than me..in everyway..prettier than me funnier than me and nicer than me..=)



P.S. God..even thought i'm not ready for a new relationship yet..but please allow me to love the person secretly..=)